Creativity

An Extraordinary Life

2011-04-25T09:18:00.003+10:00

"Where will you be in five years time?"
Is the cry of all with goal setting in mind.

Well...

Africa, Nepal or maybe Peru
Working with those less fortunate than you
Women against who violence is so culturally ingrained
That they can't ask for help, no matter how much pain

India, Uganda or maybe Brazil
Upholding human rights - the struggle's uphill
Giving children a voice, yelling 'EXPLOIT THEM NO MORE!'
As they pick tea and coffee and cocoa galore

Indonesia maybe, Christmas Island as well
Fighting for refugees going through hell
Requiring their governments to uphold the law
And persuading ours we can take many more

Outback Australia, perhaps Kakadu
Learning from those forgotten by us too
Understanding indigenous culture, the lie of the land
So that self-determination and progress might stand

Oh, my personal life?

Africa, Nepal or maybe Peru
With a baby or two
Perhaps
One strapped to my back, one hugging my thigh
Seeing the world through their infant eyes

There's a man there as well
Says he's my husband but I never can tell
Perhaps he's my de facto life partner declared in a Hindu commitment ceremony
Or my soul mate

He walks with me beside me behind me in front of me through it
We are each whole people made stronger by being with the other
He too wants to change the world
He too wants his children to grow up as global citizens
He too wants to grow old knowing he did what he could to better the planet, and not just himself
He too understands the commitment
To an extraordinary life.

Please Stay...

2010-02-23T16:34:00.000+10:00

Inspired by 'The Time Traveller's Wife'.

You are mine...

2007-09-01T16:59:00.001+10:00

(a new song)

I'm so frustrated
I'm so ashamed yeah
I can't believe I'm
Doing this again

You call me closer
I'm walking faster
Don't want to listen
Leave me the hell alone

But you

Walk beside me all the way
And as I cry I hear you say

You are the one I love
You are mine
You are my beautiful child
You are mine

I feel you near now
But not here somehow
I won't go back now
No matter what you say

I've gone too far now
You ask too much now
I'm going to quit now
I'm better off alone

But you

Walk beside me all the way
And as I cry I hear you say

You are the one I love
You are mine
You are my beautiful child
You are mine

I know that you know
That I don't know who I am right now
But you go before me
And cry out loud

You are the one I love
You are mine
You are my beautiful child
You are mine

You are the one I love
You are mine
You are my beautiful child
You are mine

evk
2007

Untitled...

2007-03-19T18:26:00.000+10:00

I sit here
This room ever darkening
As the sun goes down
And I probe the pain

The ebbing
ever-present pain
that is like a sore tooth
or sprained ankle
Or worse
slow-bleeding wound
that just won't stop

I can see the beauty around me
and within me
The pinks and mauves and blues of the sky
Matching the joy and awe inside me
But in the still deep reaches of my soul
There is you.

I look into that place in my soul and I see
That picture of us
Just two weeks ago
So happy
Tears fall down my cheeks as I admit to myself
That I want to be there again

I want to believe
That this will make us stronger
But all I can fear
Is that this is the end.

I reach into my soul
And lift up that place which holds you
I hold it in my hands
I wonder where we went wrong
What did I do
What didn't I do
When was I ever not enough
And why do you think that I deserve this.

Turning it over
Letting the tears of mourning
Sadness
And pain
Fall upon it.

I lift that place up to God
offering it to Him
giving it to Him
and finally
pleading for Him to take it
because I can't see for the tears
I can't feel for the pain
and I can't hear for the sound of my weeping.

I am sorry
I ask you for forgiveness
And as I imagine your pain
your pain
... your pain
I cry again and just want to be there with you to share it.

I always knew that you could hurt me
I didn't think that you ever would
At least, not like this
And yet, inside I know
that this is not you
this is not what you wanted
what you ever could want
and that you're hurting
(amongst other things)
because I am hurting.

And so the sun sets over the hills
Closer to you than it is to me
Though I can still see it
The only light is the dim glow of my computer screen
As I type
The pinks and mauves and blues
have faded to greys
And the tears begin to dry on my face.

But the pain
The ever-present
ever ebbing
ever bleeding pain
continues.
But I know I will be okay.

Nails, Blood and Sweat

2006-10-31T13:21:00.000+10:00

Nails, blood and sweat
They nailed you to a chunk of wood
Removed your clothes and
Humiliated you
Humiliated you.
They gambled for your worldly possessions
A pair of sandals
Some pieces of cloth.

Did your blood drip down on them?
Did they curse you as you rained your life’s blood on them?
Did they wipe it off, disgusted?
Did they mutter for you to die quickly ~
Get it over with.

Nails, blood and sweat
They hoisted you for all to see
A mocking sign above you
The King of the Jews
The King of the Jews
They spat on you and insulted you
‘Son of God
Save Yourself!’

Did your tears drip down upon them?
Were they spattered with the sorrow that you felt for them?
Did they know them tears of pity?
Or did they think them for yourself?

Nails, blood and sweat.
You died.

They pierced you with a spear
Ensuring you dead
Assuming victory.

Did you see my face before you?
Did you see mankind stretched before you as you took us on your shoulders?
Did you love us to the last?
Did you go to see your Father?
Did you fall into his arms?

Nails, blood and sweat.

I am the least, the last, the lost...

2006-01-05T20:31:00.000+10:00

Inspired by the Gospel of Luke

I am the least
the last
the lost
Though I wear clothes of soft fabric and pretty hue
I am dressed in rags
Though I appear healthy
I am truly unwell
Though I seem happy
I am damaged

I am the least
the last
the lost
The least likely to suceed
The last person to believe
The lost sheep
Stranded
Alone

I am the least
the last
the lost
Saved by grace
Healed by His pain
Loved in His name

I am the least
the last
the lost
And I wouldn't have it any other way

2005

You Alone (the La La Song)

2006-01-04T12:08:00.000+10:00

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la -
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la -

When I am down you pick me up
When blind you help me see
And even if I'm out of luck
Your love will always be

You're not one in a million, you're the only one
The only one for me
I can't explain life without you Lord
You alone are the key

Your light shines in the darkest night
You love eternally
Injustice you alone make right
And forgive so graciously

You made the earth the stars the sun
For us undeservingly
In Jesus we can all be one
So we sing thankfully

You're not one in a million, you're the only one
The only one for me
I can't explain life without you Lord
You alone are the key

For our God loved the world so much
He gave his only son
I want to shout it out to the world
You alone are the one

When I am down you pick me up
When blind you help me see
And even if I'm out of luck
Your love will always be

La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la -
La la la la la la la la
La la la la la la -

John 10:7-18 - The Shepherd and His Flock...

2006-01-04T12:02:00.000+10:00

Or,

Jesus' Love Song

(a song)

I would never lie to you
I am telling you the truth
I am the gate that leads to new life
Where others come to steal
To destroy, hurt and kill
Enter through me and you will never die

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life

I am the good shepherd
Giving evil just desserts
Like lying in the gate, I lay down my life
Where others run away
I LIVE to fight another day
My love a greater weapon than any gun or knife

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life

You will hear my voice calling
As clearly as rain falling
You will hear only me through my Father above
My sheep in other pastures
Will respond to my calling
And I will nurture them with compassion and love

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life

No matter what happens
Rest assured in my promise
Everything that happens happens by my choice
So listen to the Father
Hear always his commands
Follow me, listen to the sound of my voice

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Show me... (a song)

2006-01-04T00:02:00.000+10:00

You don't have to say anything
You don't have to speak a word out loud
I know that you're scared to begin
And I know that you can't talk it out

You don't have to speak my name
You don't have to give your fears a voice
We've come a long way to get here
Now it all comes down to just one choice

Take my hand
Slip your fingers into mine
Give me just a little more time

And all I know
Is there's nothing that you
Have to say
Just hold me close until
I know you love me still
And show me that you feel this way

You don't have to tell anyone
You don't have to open up - it's fine
There's no-one else who needs to know
We can tell them later on sometime

You don't have to say a word
You don't have to look me in the eye
It's such a little thing to do
Who knows what could happen if you try

Take my hand
Slip your fingers into mine
Give me just a little more time

And all I know
Is there's nothing that you
Have to say
Just hold me close until
I know you love me still
And show me that you feel this way

Doubt (a song)

2005-06-29T15:11:00.000+10:00

Will it ever be
How I imagined it to be
Just you and me
Together for eternity
I have tried to make a difference
In our cold and lonely
But now I see
Maybe we're not meant to be

Well
I thought I was right
I thought you were mine
I thought we'd be until the end of time
But I guess I was wrong
I'll try to stay strong
I just wish you'd loved me all along

In you I see
All things I want a man to be
You are the key
To loving independently
While you walk alone in silence
I am calling out your name
Hoping you see
You have all you want in me

Well
I thought I was right
I thought you were mine
I thought we'd be until the end of time
But I guess I was wrong
I'll try to stay strong
I just wish you'd loved me all along

I thought that you would love me
I thought that you would hold me
I thought we'd be together now
I thought you liked
I thought that we would try it
I thought that it would work out some how

But now I see
The way that things are going to be
No life with me
And it hurts unbelievably
And I will struggle on without you
Wondering when I will be loved
Hoping you see
That we are truly meant to be

Well
I thought I was right
I thought you were mine
I thought we'd be until the end of time
But I guess I was wrong
I'll try to stay strong
I just wish you'd loved me all along

Well
I thought I was right
I thought you were mine
I thought we'd be until the end of time
But I guess I was wrong
I'll try to stay strong
I just wish you'd loved me
All along

2005 evk

Contagious (a song)

2005-06-07T10:38:00.000+10:00

Every word that tumbles from our lips
Every time our hands we raise
Every time with dance with joy for You
We do it in Your name

We bow to You in worship
We sing Your praise in song
We clap our hands to honour You
For in You we are strong

You are contagious
Spreading joy that knows no bounds
You make us catch the peace of you
And share it all around

We want to be contagious
We want to spread the word of love
Tell the people of all ages
That it comes from up above

(Instrumental)

Every time our hearts are opened up
Every time our eyes are wide
Every time we hear You speak to us
We know You are at our side

We will honour you with worship
With our hearts and minds
We'll honour you with all we have
With all our lives combined

You are contagious
Spreading joy that knows no bounds
You make us catch the peace of You
And share it all around

We want to be contagious
We want to spread the word of love
Tell the people of all ages
That it comes from up above (x 2)

(Instrumental)

Help us spread the peace of You
Help us spread the joy of You
Help us spread the love of You
In everything we do

Help us spread the peace of You
Help us spread the joy of You
Help us spread the love of You
In every thing we do

You are contagious
Spreading joy that knows no bounds
You make us catch the peace of You
And share it all around

We want to be contagious
We want to spread the word of love
Tell the people of all ages
That it comes from up above

Help us spread the peace of You
Help us spread the joy of You
Help us spread the love of You
In everything we do

2005 evk

13 Things I Hate About You

2005-05-30T10:53:00.000+10:00

I hate the way you look at me
With your eyes that search my soul
I hate the way talk to me
And make me want to fall
I hate the way you make me laugh
With your funny teasing ways
I hate the way you always know
Just what it is to say.

I hate the way I make you weird
Whenever I'm around
I hate the way you turn your head
And face it towards the ground
I hate the way you never can
Look my in the eye
I hate the way you walk away
When I need to cry

I hate that I don't feel like
I'm that important to you
I hate that I like everything
That it is you do
I hate that you can make me feel
So out of control
I hate it that I need you
Or anyone at all

The thing I really hate the most
Is the fact that I can't hate you
Not even a little bit.
Not even at all.

Inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You

evk 2005

I'm Here For You (a song)

2005-05-27T10:54:00.000+10:00

He's finding it hard
Can't confide in anyone
Struggling on like no-one cares
He doesn't want advice
Or even understanding
Just someone to be there
So she says

I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you

He's finding it hard
Memories flooding back
About tough times
Tough days
No matter how hard he tries
He can't hide it away
Even he needs someone sometimes
So she says...

I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you

We can sit here in silence
Or I'll listen to you
We can do anything you say
I'll pray for you
Put my arms around you
Anything to help you get through just another day

I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you

I'm here for you
Whever you need me
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you

So if you're finding it hard
If you can't confide in anyone
If you're struggling on like no-one cares
If you don't want advice
Or even understanding
You know I'll always be there...

I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you
I'm here for you
Whenever you need me
I'm here for you

I'm here for you
I'm here for you

for Stuart

2004 evk

Holy God (a song)

2005-05-27T09:35:00.000+10:00

Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I'm here

Shrouded in darkness
You light my way
Lost and alone You
Surround me with Your love
My world crumbles all around
But you are my rock
Lord You're the reason I am here

Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here
Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here

Overwhelmed with confusion
You clear my mind
Deserving of nothing
You shower me with gifts
The only thing I can offer in return
Are these words of praise
Lord You're the reason I am here

Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here
Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here
Oh Holy God
What would I do without you?
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I am here
Oh Holy God
You are the reason I'm here

2004 evk

Just Another Girl (a song)

2005-05-26T15:47:00.000+10:00

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

You glance my way I can tell that there's something
That goodbye hug was a little more tight
You stroke my hair I wonder where this is going
A little scared because I know for sure that

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

All my friends tell me if I wait it will be
But I'm not sure that you really feel the same
You mean much more to me than anything else I have
Am I more to you than the ones before?

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

If you want me, you can have me,
But I know that, I know for sure...

If you want me, you can have me,
But I know that, I know for sure...

If you want me, you can have me,
But I know that, I know for sure...

If you want me, you can have me,
But I know that, I know for sure...

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

I don't wanna be
Just another girl
On your list of been there done that
All I wanna be
Is the only girl
The one you need for the rest of always

I don't want to be ... on your list
All I want to be ... the rest of always.

2003/2005 evk

Just Being Me

2005-05-26T15:29:00.000+10:00

It's not so easy, to be me.
Always thinking, never drinking
And always trying to see.

It's not so easy, being I.
Complicated emotions, constant love and devotion
Praying, staying, driving, diving
Trying not to live a lie.

It's not so easy, to be me.
No off switch, thinking I'm a bitch
Always contemplating, never seranading
Always on the ball, trying to control
And never holding the key.

It's not so easy, being I.
Swinging up and down, trying not to frown
Wanting to be loved, aside being shoved
Giving everything, wanting just to sing
Writing down the pain, trying not to open a vein
Sometimes wanting to die

It's not so easy, to be me
People seeing perfection, someone with direction
She's got it all together, going hell for leather
Friendly and outgoing, shyness never showing
Can't believe she struggles, just look how she juggles
Sure her life's been hard, but now not broken shards
She's electricity.

It's not so easy, being I
She's back together with glue, and now she's after Stu
We know she'll be all right, she'll get over it overnight
Never seeing I hurt, or that I feel like dirt
Never seeing that I cry, and that I live a lie
Never seeing all my shame, that I'll never be the same
Knowing that I feel loveable, the good in me undiscoverable
No matter how I try.

It's not so easy, to be me.
Losing, gaining, waxing, waning
Trying to be the best, trying to forget the rest
Cogs spinning, obsessed with thinning
Brain on overload, trying not to explode
Complicated, underrated, over-achiever, firm believer
Damaged goods, not just misunderstood
Procrastinator, potential world changer
If only I could see.

It's not so easy, being I.
Who I am is not a lie.
I know that I will make it through
To myself, and God, I am true
And maybe that's all I need.
After all, I'm just a seed.
It's not so easy, being I,
But, you know, I try.

2004 evk

You're Amazing

2005-05-26T15:25:00.000+10:00

I stand before you
Tears streaming down my face
In awe of you
And your amazing love
You forgive me
Despite all my wrong
You're so amazing.

You've given me gifts
When I deserve none
You've forgiven me
Even after all I've done
You've showered me with love
Through Your Son
You're so amazing

My life open to you
In each and every way
Given to you
Because of your amazing love
And forgiveness
Help me do no wrong
You're so amazing

You've given me gifts
When I deserve none
You've forgiven me
Even after all I've done
You've showered me with love
Through Your Son
You're so amazing

Beside me always
When times are the hardest
You're with me
Showering me with love
And strength
Helping me get through
You're so amazing

You've given me gifts
When I deserve none
You've forgiven me
Even after all I've done
You've showered me with love
Through Your Son
You're so amazing

So amazing...
So amazing...
So amazing...

2004 evk

I Loved Him

2005-05-26T15:19:00.000+10:00

He may not have been what you wanted for me
He may have broken my heart and thrown away the key
He may not have had any good that you could see
But you know what? ~ I loved him.

He may have hurt me more times than you could know
His love for me may never have been way out there on show
He may have pushed me further than I thought that I could go
But I loved him.

He may have hurt me deeply so it takes so long to heal
He may have caused me pain that made me think 'it can't be real'
He may have lied and cheated and sunk so low as from me to steal
But I still loved him.

He may not have been the one for the rest of my life
He may have made me live on the edge of a knife
He may have caused me boundless, endless amounts of strife
But I loved him.

You may wish I didn't have to go through it, the sorry years of pain
You may have wished that I didn't go back again and again
You may wish I'd had all sunshine and never the rain
But I don't...
Because I loved him.

I may never have known what I deserve, when a new man comes to call
I may never have known what it was like to give someone my all
I may never have known how strong I was, after such a fall
If I hadn't loved him.

If I hadn't loved him, I wouldn't now be the same
If I hadn't loved him, I wouldn't know true pain
If I hadn't loved him, I would have had nothing to gain
So I'm glad I loved him

2004 evk

Alice

2005-05-26T15:15:00.000+10:00

I am Alice
Running oh-so hard
Just to stay in the same spot.

The lobster quadrille
Will throw me out to see
But I'll end up back in the race

I'm always late
But there's no important dates
And no-one to care if I'm there or not

I'm tiny
And there's no cookie
That will bring me back to size

Off with her head
Would only bring relief
As I run through the rabbit hole

Through the looking-glass
Is everyone else
And I wish I could get there, though I know I can't

The sun is shining on the sea
Shining with all it's might
Trying it's very best to make my life seem warm and bright
It's not too odd because it is the middle of my life

The walrus and the carpenter
Have eaten up the oysters of my sanity
And I stand teetering on the brink of the cliff

Running oh-so hard
But not getting anywhere
The world passes me by
Where I stand

2003 evk

Fallen

2005-05-26T15:12:00.000+10:00

Swallow me up
In your jagged mind
Open your eyes
Can't you see I'm blind
Slow right down
Please don't leave me behind
When I've fallen

Talk me around
In that damn you way
Silence speaks volumes
On a day like today
Turn around and listen
To what I don't say
Believe me ~ I've fallen

Ghost in the light
Can you see me over here
Shimmering mirage
Although you seem near
Devil's Advocate
But you I cannot fear
I know ~ I've fallen

Fallen like an autumn leaf
Though not piled upon mound
Fallen like a fever
Feel my heat when you're around
Fallen like an angel
Though I do not touch the ground
Yes ~ I've fallen

2003 evk

Blessing

2005-05-26T15:10:00.000+10:00

Tear it open
Rip it out
Throw to the ground
And leave no doubt

Grind it down
To thin fine dust
Get rid of it
You know you must

Given to you
Some time ago
You didn't say yes
But couldn't say no

Treasured it dear
For a year you did
Then from behind your fear
You hid

You held it in your
Gentle hand
It's loving beat
You could not stand

You threw it down
Upon the ground
Then in my face
Your feet did pound

So dig a grave
Dig it deep
Bury my heart
And watch me weep

2003 evk

Inside

2005-05-26T15:07:00.000+10:00

Blackened twisted clouds of light
Brighten up the velvet night
Lightning flashes violently
See how you do torment me
Constantly the thunder crashes
My head hurts with the loud hard smashes
Black and red and gray and white
I wish I could see the light

Red and pulsing shards of glass
Shattered grace and fallen class
Blood spurts out from open wounds
I gaze unseeingly at the moon
Emotions rage just like the sea
See how you do torment me
Whipping down like wind and rain
Blindly I can feel the pain

Green and radiant jealousy
See what you have done to me
Clear and bright and out it shines
Some reason for you away I pine
My rage howls like the raging storm
How could I have been your pawn?
Rain lashes across my mind
But now I'll put it all behind

2003 evk

Thank You

2005-05-26T15:02:00.000+10:00

Subtle speech and such light hand
Leaves me trembling where I stand
Light shines on me oh-so bright
Feel as if it's never night
Banish the dark and all my fear
From far away you hold me dear
So quiet spoken, yet so true
Leaves me wondering what did I do
Before the day I set my eyes
On you.

Help me through each single day
Never feel as if I'm in your way
Let me know what I deserve
Throwing straight balls, never curve
Yet lead me just so tenderly
So that in the end I see
The light, the truth I'd never know
Or if I did, perhaps too slow
And I don't know how far I'd go
Without you.

Breathless soul at spoken word
No stone do you leave unturned
Essence of you I want to know
Your friendship I will never let go
Gentle heart with love and care
At your feet my soul laid bare
Words open in my such a door
Give me wings and let me soar
I just pray it's not a chore
To you.

So thank you for your subtle speech
My hand ~ never fear to reach
And thank you for your gentle words
Know that you I'll never spurn
Thank you for your caring heart
That you've had right from the start
And thank you for just being you
And knowing just what to do
And always being oh-so true
To me.

Thank you.

evk 2003

Dearest You

2005-05-26T14:58:00.000+10:00

Dearest Face
Dearest Name
Tell me it will be the same
Tell me we will meet again
Tell me that you're still in pain
Even if I am no more.

Dearest Hands
Dearest Eyes
Tell me you didn't mean goodbye
Tell me it was all a lie
Tell me you love me when I sigh
Even if I sigh no more.

Dearest Man
Dearest Lover
Make it so I didn't discover
Make it so there wasn't any other
Make it so I'm your childs mother
Even if I want it no more.

Dearest Darling
Dearest Sweetheart
I'm sorry that it didn't last
I'm sorry it was over so fast
I'm sorry it's all in the past
And will be forever more.

Dearest Smile
Dearest Back
I'm sorry that you think I lack
I'm sorry, but it is the crack
I'm sorry I don't want you back
And won't forevermore.

2003 evk

Perfection

2005-05-26T14:52:00.000+10:00

Passion, pleasure, purity ~ but not pain
Effervesence, energetic, exciting ~ but not exaggerated
Real, righteous, robust ~ but not retiring
Fun, fantastic, fire ~ but not a farce
Entertaining, eloquent, edible ~ but not with 'extras'
Calm, collected, communicative ~ but not childish
Trust, truth, good treatment ~ but not trying
Idealistic, imaginative, idolising ~ but not idiotic
Open, optimistic, opalescent ~ but not over-confident
Never nasty ~ but sometimes naughty.

Do you think I'm asking for too much?

2003 evk

Over the Rainbow

2005-05-26T14:44:00.000+10:00

She sits in a bar downunder
Sipping her drink and tapping her toes
She smiles and laughs with her friends on the outside
On the inside wondering if it shows

He sleeps somewhere over the raindbow
Talks to her at least every second day
He laughs and jokes with her constantly
But secretly wonders if she's okay

She rushes out nearly every morning
Just to see if she's heard from him
She holds her breath with every word he writes
Hoping he might just go out on a limb

He stays up longer than he knows he should
Sometimes he just can't say goodbye
He thinks about the things she says to him
And wonders if it all might be a lie

She's just looking for someone who'll love her
Treat her like a princess every single day
She's just looking to love someone in return
Heaven or high waters - come what may

He's just looking for someone to hold on to
Someone he can hug every single day
He's just looking for someone who will hold him too
And help him keep his fears at bay

Maybe someday both at that bar down under
Sipping their drinks and stepping on each others toes
They'll smile and laugh at they're clumsy dance
On the inside wondering if it shows

Maybe someday both sleeping over the rainbow
Seeing each other at least six hours a day
Laughing and joking constantly
Knowing in their hearts that they're each okay

No need to rush out nearly every morning
To see if there's any mail from him
No need to hold her breath as he speaks to her
They're out on so much more than a limb

No need for him to stay up at night-time
No need for either to say good bye
Now if he thinks about what she says to him
No need to wonder if it's a lie

She just found someone who loves her
Treats her like a princess every minute of the day
She's just found someone she can love in return
And plans to do so - come what may

He just found somebody to hold on to
He can hug her any minute of every day
He just found someone who loves to hold him too
And she helps to keep his fears at bay

An unlikely pair, but do you think they can see that?
They can only see the good inside
Even if it may have taken some time for them
To find the feelings that the other did hide

But for now she'll stay at her bar down under
And over the rainbow he'll remain
And you can be sure that niether will say anything
Even when there's everything to gain
Because they don't want to risk the pain.

2003 evk

Can I?

2005-05-26T09:46:00.000+10:00

Can I be selfish
Just for one day?
Can I please
Just do it my way?
Can I not be perfect?
Can I hurt someone too?
And not be the one
Who sits back and says 'poor you'?
Can I just be irrational
And can I be really scared?
Can I just wail and scream
About how life is unfair?
Can I just forget the good times
And just dwell on the bad?
Can I just not care about anyone?
And for a little while, be sad?
Can I just sit down and cry
And not have to turn around
And tell everyone a lie?
"I'm fine," I say, "It's nothing
I'm just a sentimental girl
Of course there's nothing going wrong
In my perfect little world!"
Can I please just be selfish?
I don't think it's too much to ask.
It's not like I'm drowning sorrows
In beer bottles or wine cask.
Just a little selfish
Wanting all but nothing much
A little more stability
And a lot more love and such.

Can I please just have a hug
And someone to care for me?
Someone to make a big big fuss
About how I was treated by he.
Can someone please rant and rave
Just on my behalf?
And tell me that I'm beautiful
Without having to ask?
Can someone show me how it is
I'm supposed to live my life
Without getting into so much trouble
Turmoil and strife.
Can someone please just love me
Without questioning my love?
And not expect perfection
Like some perfect white dove?
I just want a big bear hug
To take away my pain.
After all I have nothing to lose
And everything to gain.
I don't want just a relationship
Just a love to last always
Someone to make me special
And feel so throughout my days.
I don't think I'm asking much
Just someone to stand up for me
I'm sick of doing it on my own
And failing frequently.
I don't want someone perfect
I just want someone sane
Who treats me like I'm wonderful
And who I can treat the same.

2003 evk

I Wish

2005-05-26T09:43:00.000+10:00

I wish you could see what I see
The dark deep strength
The gorgeous soul
The love I see inside.

I wish you could feel what I feel
When I see your name
I read your words
And see how much you care

I wish you could believe what I say
When I tell you how I feel
How much I care
And what you meant to me

I wish I could shake you and make you realise
The special person you are
The way you give
The way you live
The way you make me feel inside

I wish I could understand
Why you feel the way you do
I wish I could get close to you
And hug it all away.

I love you.

evk 2003

Leave

2005-05-26T09:40:00.000+10:00

If this is what you want to do
Then I won't stand in your way
But I can't promise you that I won't be scared
And pretend that things will be the same.

I can't promise that I won't cry
When you leave me on that day
And I can't promise you that I won't say
All the things I want to say

If you think this is the only way
Then by all means, please leave
But don't expect me to be happy for you
And don't expect me not to plead

Please know that if you leave
I'll still be here always
I love you more than you can know
And will for all my days.

evk 2003

Seven Months Beautiful (a song)

2005-05-26T09:36:00.000+10:00

For seven months I was beautiful
Beautiful to you
For seven months I had learned to love
Learned to love as you do

For seven months I had felt complete
As whole as you can be
For seven months I'd never been so real
I felt like I'd become me

But now I sigh
And now I cry
And now I sit and I wonder why
Why it had to happen?
Why did things have to change?
And am I ever gonna be beautiful again?
Beautiful again.

In seven months I won't hear your name
When I get a call on the phone
In seven months I won't be the same
After being alone

In seven months I'll still be wondering
If anyone else will be there
In seven months I think you should know
I will still really care

But now I sigh
And now I cry
And now I sit and I wonder why
Why it had to happen?
Why did things have to change?
And am I ever gonna be beautiful again?
Beautiful...

Seven months beautiful
I was beautiful to you
Seven months beautiful
Will I ever get over you?

So now I sigh
And now I cry
And now I sit and I wonder why
Why it had to happen?
Why did things have to change?
And am I ever gonna be beautiful again?
Beautiful again?
Beautiful again.

evk 2002

Over There

2005-05-26T09:30:00.000+10:00

How can we complain
That our lives are unfair
When we don't have to suffer
What they do over there.

They're fleeing their houses
And their homelands too
What right do we have
To mope around like we do.

'Things have changed' people cry
As others live in fear
Struggling to survive while we yell
'Prices are too dear!

Why can't the economy
Go back to how it was?'
Well, I don't think we're in Kansas
And this certainly ain't Oz.

But neither do we lack for
Anything our bodies need
Food and warmth and shelter
Bandages for if we bleed

'But they've taken away our freedom!'
Cry the people with the guns
While somewhere else a twelve year old
Fights a jihad - his father's son.

How can we not sleep at night
Because of a blockage in the sink
When somewhere else a small child dies
From no fresh water to drink

Somewhere else a baby dies
Of dysentary or AIDS
While over here a child will cry
For toys or rollerblades

How dare we wallow in apathy
When bombs are falling every day
On innocents in the wrong place, wrong time
How can we think it's okay?

How can we continue
On this self-destructive path
How can we sweep it under the rug
And then just take a bath?

In this age of information
People fidget and cough
When a thousand people die
In a land far off.

Why should we bemoan our fate
Of dying old or poor?
When so many children over there
Get no chance to live at all.

Please remember that it was never said
That life was meant to be fair
And remember how much better off
You are than those over there.

evk 2002

Who Would Have Thought?

2005-05-25T16:52:00.000+10:00

For Sparky

Who would have thought
I would find you like I did?
In the depths of cyberspace
Where I often hit.

Who would have thought
Such a close friend you could get?
When they didn't know your real name
Or how you looked just yet.

Who would have thought
I could share everything with you?
Family friends and problems
Boys and houses too?

Who would have thought
That you would be my friend?
Kilometres and years the difference
And yet my heart you can mend.

Who would have thought
I would find you like I did?
In the depths of cyberspace
Where I often hid.

You found me
A troubled teenager
Awkward adult
And showed me who I could be.
You nurtured me,
Loved me
And gave all you had
Never asking anything for yourself
And never getting mad.

Who would have thought
I would need you like I to?
My brightest, dearest friend,
I really do love you.

2002 evk

Angel

2005-05-25T16:48:00.000+10:00

Am I an angel?
Am I here to comfort you?
A blessing in disguise
For when you're feeling blue?

I could be an angel
Sent from up above
To spread the word of comfort
And peace and joy and love

I feel like I'm an angel
Here to help you through
Times of hurt and trouble
And to help you see what's true

I think I am your angel
You're the reason I am here
That my purpose in this short, sweet life
Is to take away your fear

It might not be the case
But what I feel and don't know how
Is that I should be your angel
'Cause you're needing one right now.

2002 evk

Here For You

2005-05-25T16:42:00.000+10:00

With every word you put on screen
My heart reaches out to you
With every thought, unspoken, unseen
I want to know what I can do
With every moment of self-hate or self-doubt
I know I can see it through
And whenever you think you're not a nice guy
Know that I am here for you

My perspective changes on every thought
With all of your written words
You challenge my thinking in every way
To not credit you would be absurd
So whenever you feel that your life is not right
That you're not flying free as a bird
Just drop me a post, a line or a note
I promise you'll always be heard.

Whatever you think, I know for myself
That a beautiful person you are
You may think you're boorish or bossy or bad
But even from my home so far
I see the real you from your hugs and your posts
To me you're a bright shining star
So if ever you need a shoulder to lean
Use mine - always welcome you are.

You're always so sweet, so kind and so warm
To those whose comforts are few
And though your life is not perfect itself
You emit such a radiant hue
That I cannot help but be drawn to your posts
And feel sad whenever you're blue
And so I feel I must tell you right now
That I'll always be right here for you.

For McD80

2002 evk

Beautiful Stranger, Beautiful Dream

2005-05-25T13:00:00.000+10:00

Passionate winds sweep a blood-red sky
I find myself in a movie-star's arms
A car skids on a rain-slick road
And suddenly you're gone

Amber autumn leaves in an azure sky
I find myself singing a new song
I laugh and run to you
And I don't know who you are.

Empathise with me - you know how I feel
Sympathise with me - you know I'm crying too
Close your eyes with me - we'll fly away together
Into a beautiful dream

Stark white pinpricks in a midnight sky
I am surrounded by bubbles of light
A garden for me and you are there
But I don't know who you are

A tear smudged, ghost-grey sky
You find yourself in my dream
But I don't know your name
And you don't know who I am.

Empathise with me - you know how I feel
Sympathise with me - you know I'm crying too
Close your eyes with me - we'll fly away together
Into a beautiful dream

Who are you, beautiful stranger?
And man of my dreams?
Where are you, beautiful stranger?
And will we ever meet?

Passionate winds sweep a blood-red sky
I find myself in your arms
A car skids on a rain-slick road
And suddenly we've gone...

Empathise with me - you know how I feel
Sympathise with me - you know I'm crying too
Close your eyes with me - we'll fly away together
Into a beautiful dream.

2002 evk

True Friendship

2005-05-25T12:54:00.000+10:00

I am who I am
It's all I'll ever be
And I'm sorry if that's not
What you want to see.

I say what I am thinking
Hey - you know you do it too!
So why is it not okay for me
But perfectly fine for you?

Why are YOU allowed to cry
To rant and rave and scream
Why am I not allowed to share
And why am I so mean?

For having an opinion-
It's not personal you know.
What do we do what YOU want?
Why can't my feelings show.

I've tried to give a million times
All the help you need.
I've watered over a thousand times
Our 'true friendships' seed.

But it is not what we once thought
Friends forever we are not
Thos good times of yesterday
So easily forgot.

Thank you for a friendship
One you rarely see
But I'm not sorry it is over
If that's the way you're treating me.

I have been hurt enough
Without getting it from you
And it's getting obvious
You've had enough of me too.

I am who I am
It's all I'll ever be
And I'm sorry if that's not
Who you want me to be.

2002 evk

Have you Ever?

2005-05-25T12:50:00.000+10:00

Have you ever
Lived in fear
That you will suffer
For the actions of others
People that you never met
Never spoke to and
Never knew?
I do.

Have you ever
Lived in fear
That your life will be ruined
By someone close to you
That you can never have friends
Because of HIS problem?
I do.

Have you ever
Lived in fear
That your life will never
Be your own?
That you'll always be owned
By someone you love
And never be free?
I do.

Have you ever
Stayed up all night
To make sure that your family
Ends up all right?
To ensure that the young ones
Stay fast asleep
And that your sister and father
That night do not meet?
Have you ever breathed the fumes
Of alcoholic breath
When he's leaning over you
Scaring you to death?
Did you ever want a Christmas
Where everything went right?
Where you don't have to listen to the screaming
Ripping through the night?
I do.

Have you ever
Just wanted love
With no criticism or flaws
With no remarks 'bout paying board
Or doing some more chores.
Just love.
I do.

2001 evk

September 11th

2005-05-25T12:40:00.000+10:00

I know that I live right across
The other side of the world
And I know that I cannot remember
That Harbour named of Pearl
And I know that feel as strongly
About this as some I could never feel,
But for the past few days I can't help but think
That this horror can't be real.
Staring at the TV screen
At humanity gone wrong
And the weeping of the people -
Here there's no panicked throng.
And I know that it can't have touched me
As those suffering right now
But I feel that I am there
And that I know what's going on somehow.
I can't help but cry
When I think of all the pain
And the fact that so many people had
No chance because of those planes.
And people telling their loved ones
That they did love them indeed
And those people on the streets
Wondering if their loved one's been seen.
And I know that these are only words
And I cannot fix it all
And if I could, there'd be nothing like this
On our Earth so like a ball.
And I know that my suffering is nothing
Compared to those who have been lost
But I can't help but feel scared
Now that America's been crossed.
To all the people out there
Who are crying every night
Because they had someone they loved
Upon a fateful flight
Or in one of those buildings
That will never be the same,
Please know that I am here for you
Though I cannot take the pain.
The tears I shed while writing this
Can never compare
To the joys of love and happiness
That many will now never share.

2001 evk

Understanding

2005-05-25T12:37:00.000+10:00

Do you know what?
I don't understand you.
Does that surprise you?

I know I think I know everything sometimes.
Okay, most of the time.
And I'm generally assumed to be the most intuitive person around.
That I usually know what's going on without being told.
But you have me beat.
I just don't get it.

Do you know what?
This IS me.
And if you don't like it - rack off!

If I annoy you - fine.
If I piss you off - FINE!
Just don't be mad at me, snap at me, or ignore me because of my personality.
Especially not ignore me.
If you have a problem - tell me! so I can fix it.
Or move on.
Because otherwise I just don't get it.

Do you know what?
I think I love you.
Does that surprise you?

I'm not sure though.
And that frustrates the hell out of me.
As you would probably expect.
But you blow hot and cold
And I don't understand.
As you would probably expect.
You tell me one thing,
But do another.
And I don't understand.
I just don't get you at all.

2001 evk

Unnamed

2005-05-25T12:33:00.000+10:00

The thunder rolls across the barren landscape of my mind
And the lightning strikes my heart.
The rain streams down my face, like so many falling tears.
It's just a storm, I tell myself,
And it will surely pass.
Like the days and the months, the seasons and the years,
Rolling by, rolling by, rolling by...
like summer love
the autumn breeze
winter chill
or spring's fresh outlook.
Rolling by and leaving me like...

Dewdrops dried upon a spider's web
or...
The feeling you get after you see the happiness and innocent love of a father and baby going by
or...
like so many used soaps.

But it is, after all, just a storm.
And I will weather it.
(Just like I weathered you)
It will pass.
(Just like you)
And I will love again.

The thunder...

2001 evk

For Dean

2005-05-25T12:28:00.000+10:00

He makes you smile
Whenever you're down.
He always knows how
To make smile from frown.
He knows all your tricks
That play with the mind.
He knows how to comfort,
And is always so kind.

So how easy is it to fall in love with your best friend?
And why does it have to feel like a love that will not end?
And why do you always tell yourself - a friendship it will ruin?
And why when you talk yourself out of it do those feelings come back so soon?

He makes me laugh
Whenever I'm down
He can almost always
Turn my smile from frown.
He knows all my tricks
That I try on his mind.
Is he really this good
Or is my love just blind?

So why can't HE find it easy to fall in love with his best friend?
And why can't he realise it's a love that may not end?
And is the risk worth it - our friendship come to ruin?
And if he talks me out of it, will my feelings come back soon?

So why is it so easy, with your best friend to fall in love?
The similarities? The differences? Are any of these enough?
And if I really feel this way, can he ever feel the same?
And if I tell him and he doesn't, can I ever bear the shame?

So if he falls in love with me, I hope he does it soon.
If I fall in love with my best friend, will our friendship come to ruin?

2001 evk

On the Edge of a Dream

2005-05-25T12:21:00.000+10:00

On the edge of a dream...
dark clouds fill my mind...
and my devils appear...
because I cannot be happy ...
Or so my subconscious says.
On the edge of my dreams...

On the edge of a dream...
our eyes lock
he smiles at me
and only we exist
Although the room is filled with people.
On the edge of my dreams...

On the edge of a dream...
I can hear his voice
See his face
Feel his tough
Even though he is not with me
Not even close.
On the edge of my dreams...

If only I could awaken
And be worthy of his love
To find us together
And myself in his arms...
I would not have to lose myself
On the edge of my dreams...

2001 evk

Hope Fades

2005-05-25T12:16:00.000+10:00

The night
Is beautiful and haunting once again...

I reach my hand up to the stars
Hoping that the brush of my fingertips against
their cold, clean clarity will make me immortal.
But they are beyond my grasp
And I have failed, once again.
And hope fades...

I gaze intently, but unseeingly, at the darkness
Hoping that it's velvety blackness will envelop me,
take away my fear, and pain
like a favourite blanket on a cold night.
But it hangs there insensitively,
And I am in this place once again.
And hope fades...

I speak to myself of the beauty of the night
Hoping that you will hear me, and remember me,
Like lovers on another plane.
But my words are hollow and serve only to
remind me that the night is much more beautiful than me.
And I am silent once again.
And hope fades...

And I look into your eyes from a distance
Hoping that the picture there has changed
And I notice that I am much there and I
ponder that we are still here, and I ask
the timeless question.
But I already know the answer
And I cry once again.
And hope fades...

The sun rises with the promise of a new day.
But I wait for the night.
For I know that the night will be beautiful and haunting once again.
While hope fades...

2001 evk

Fear

2005-05-24T15:25:00.000+10:00

I'm so scared that you will leave me
That you won't love me any more.
But you avoid confrontation
And we never settle the score.

You never tell me how you feel
Though I bend backwards for you
And you get made when I joke around
And make me feel so blue.

Since when did you take me seriously
And believe everything I say?
I joke with you, you mess with me
We do it every day.

But the anger in your voice last night
Scared me almost to tears.
And the worst part was I couldn't come to you
And tell you all my fears.

To tell you I'm scared you'll leave me
All alone in this big scary world
That I'll have no light to guide me,
That I'll have no hand to hold.

I'm so scared that I'll lose you
That I'm not worthy of your love
That I don't deserve any happiness
That you may send from above.

That I guess you are too good for me
And someday you'll figure that out
That you'll realise that I'm stupid
And decide what I'm about.

Why won't you tell me you're angry
And what it is that I have done wrong?
What won't you let me tell you
What it is that I've felt for so long?

But I'm scared that if I tell you
I'll lose you and you'll walk away.
And then I'll never be able
To say it all anyway.

2001 evk

Three Little Words

2005-05-24T15:20:00.000+10:00

Three little words
That could change our lives forever.

It would be so easy,
To say how much I care.
It would be so easy
If only I would dare.

Three little words
Are all I'd have to say.

I think I must have told you
A thousand times before before.
But you've never taken me seriously
Never thought that it meant more.

Three little words
Could turn our lives around.

How would you take it?
If I told you how I felt.
If I told you that I live for you
That you make my heart melt.

With every word you say to me
When you tell how much you care
When you look at me silently
To your eyes, my soul laid bare.

Three little words
Could make you hate me forever.

If you didn't feel the same
And you felt always betrayed
'Cause I never told you how I felt
I hit my feelings away.

Three little words
Could mean a whole lot more.

If you realise you feel the same
Because of those three words
It could mean something a whole lot more
Than this friendship I adore.

Three little words
That I will never say
In case you do not feel the same
And I give the game away.

I love you.

2001 evk

I Tried...

2005-05-24T15:18:00.000+10:00

I tried
to keep it all in tonight
I tried
to keep it inside
I tried
to hide the pain and the hurt
and I tried
to keep you from knowing

I tried
to tell you so much
I tried
but you didn't want to listen
I tried
but you still didn't care
and I tried
and you hurt me so much

So I'll try
to make it all better
and I'll try
to forget what you did
and I'll try
to hold it all in now
and I'll try
to forgive.

2001 evk

The Old Gum

2005-05-24T15:16:00.000+10:00

The tree stood towering over everyone and everything.
It stood tall and still, not alive, but not yet dead.
Housing animals large and small.
It's symmetry standing out like a red rose among black ash.

On the uppermost branch there was a scar.
It shows of what the tree was.
A survivor of a thousand storms.

It stood defiant, its great roots embedden in the rich brown soil.
Machines come along, the tree stands alone, swaying with grace.
It stands defenceless, waiting, waiting.

Humanity cut down the great old gum.
Only the stump remains.
The field is stripped of shade.

1994 evk

No Surprise

2005-05-24T15:12:00.000+10:00

Innocence is nakedness.
As children - no clothes, running around,
guilt free.
As adults - 'private bits', hiding, covering,
guilty.
Children have no idea they're innocent.
Laughing, Playing Troubling.
Nothing to hide.
Adults - innocence breeds shame and labels
'Uncool, Loser, Straight'.
They hide:
behind brick walls...
in leaves of trees ...
in clouds, or blankets.
Nakedness can't be seen.

Personalities are masks.
Worn everyday - without the owner even knowing.
Masks hide: flaws, perceptions and the real you.
People are expected
to act in a certain way
wear a certain mask
according to certain events.
A happy mask, a stern mask
No 'me' mask.
No mask telling people to be themselves.

Life is a facade.
An unwritten play: no script.
Passing by - poste haste.
People playing characters
that they ain't.
So why is it a surprise: SHOCK!
to find out about the hidden?
It's taught, like school:
Hide it! Cover it! Draw the curtain around it!
It should be
no
surprise.

1999 evk

Growing up

2005-05-24T15:09:00.000+10:00

I am an adult
Only when they want me to be.
I am a child
When it suits them.
I am actually in between
But that won't be acknowledged.
I am me.

I am old enough to look after myself
When they can't be bothered to
I am too irresponsible
When I want to grow up.
I am growing as a person
But they can't handle that.
When can I be me?

I'm too young for this
Too old for that.
Old enough to responsible for others
But not me.
Too mature for this
Too childish for that.
This is me.

Childish sometimes
Mature others.
Smiling, happy, bouncy -
Glitter and pigtails.
Cool, sophisticated, calm -
Make up and hairspray.
Which is me?

The truth?
All of it.
I am me.

1999 evk

That Poor Dog

2005-05-24T14:11:00.000+10:00

Kick the dog
Slam the wall
He does this every day
He comes home drunk
Too pissed to speak
The children run away

"Where's your mother?"
They hear him cry
They hide under the bed
He stumbles round
Groan and a curse
The drink makes him see red

They hear her scream
They cower back
Her head just hit the wall
They hear her whimper
They cover their ears
Then hear their father call

"Come here kids
And have a look
At this slut they call your mother"
They creep in quietly
Too scared to look
So instead look at each other

They soon grow up
Free of their dad
Have families of their own
They never told
A single one
Unfortunately it's shown

One's too scared to discipline
Another lives in fear
That her kids
Will have to endure
What she did every year

The third one is
Just like his Dad
Treats people like they're owned
It goes to show
The consequence
Of violence condoned

1999 evk