Fear

I'm so scared that you will leave me
That you won't love me any more.
But you avoid confrontation
And we never settle the score.

You never tell me how you feel
Though I bend backwards for you
And you get made when I joke around
And make me feel so blue.

Since when did you take me seriously
And believe everything I say?
I joke with you, you mess with me
We do it every day.

But the anger in your voice last night
Scared me almost to tears.
And the worst part was I couldn't come to you
And tell you all my fears.

To tell you I'm scared you'll leave me
All alone in this big scary world
That I'll have no light to guide me,
That I'll have no hand to hold.

I'm so scared that I'll lose you
That I'm not worthy of your love
That I don't deserve any happiness
That you may send from above.

That I guess you are too good for me
And someday you'll figure that out
That you'll realise that I'm stupid
And decide what I'm about.

Why won't you tell me you're angry
And what it is that I have done wrong?
What won't you let me tell you
What it is that I've felt for so long?

But I'm scared that if I tell you
I'll lose you and you'll walk away.
And then I'll never be able
To say it all anyway.

2001 evk